The girl staring back from the glass

Part of being a great stylist is knowing how to create hot looks with what you have at your disposal. Most women, and a few men, have a plethora a costume changes right in their own closet. my plan includes 10 articles of clothing, 20 different accessories, and 30 days of different looks. the clothing pieces consist of a pair of skinny jeans, cargo pants, a dress skirt, a casual shorter skirt, a white button up blouse, a black button up blouse, a camisole or tank, a colorful t-shirt, a sweater or shrug, and a nice jacket. The accessories will include: black flats, leopard print heels, white, low-top Converse tennis shoes, high heel chunky sandals, novelty kitten hills, a chunky gold necklace, layered necklace or silver chain necklace, gold hoops, silver hoops, a black watch and a colorful watch, a chunky bracelet set, wide black belt, skinny black belt, red patent belt, red patent big purse, great sunglasses, a clutch bag, and boots. take these items and mix and match to create different looks. The details may change but the concept will stay the same. If you are resourceful and determined, you can look great. As long as you are clean and put together, you CAN pass for a fashionista. Be your own Personal Stylist by taking advantage of the free advice you get from magazines, t.v. shows, and the Internet. If you go to a crowded mall and people watch, You will at least see how you DON"T want to look. Living on a shoe string budget is a reality for many of us and even more of a reason for always striving to put your best foot forward. my "never fail, go-to outfit" is just about impossible to screw up. Begin with a basic pair of dark jeans, skinny or boot-cut, wide leg or slim, wide pants or high waisted, but never ever low waisted, unless you are still a teenager or a very small twenty something. They don't tend to be very flattering on most people, especially if you are short and weigh more than 100 lbs. (and want to be taken seriously). It's more than a pair of jeans, it is the image of yourself that you want to portray to others and most importantly, pleasing the one staring back in the mirror. The jeans should be "topped" with a basic soft t-shirt, preferably in a solid, darker or muted color, like deep purple charcoal, or heather gray. My new, MOST FAVORITE color this year is navy blue. It's my new black. The shoes should be a sexy, but comfortable heel, maybe a leopard print, or patent red. Finish with a chunky necklace, medium size hoops, a big watch and some bracelets. Start with this look and then build from there. Some of the details may change depending on the climate. For example, brutal summer heat may require crop jeans or long denim shorts, cute thong sandals, and less jewelry. The basic concept to keep it simple and think it through is the same. The first step in my "10-20-30 concept" is to put your arsenal of fashion together and begin fashion brainstorming. Follow your new and improved "fashion gut"and ALWAYS put your best foot forward (in fabulous shoes of course).

Pretty is as pretty does

My grandmother, Granny Potter as she was fondly referred to, used to say all of the time "pretty is as pretty does." I used to get so annoyed at that and I don't even know why. I guess, like every other full of herself, know-it-all, adolescent girl, I was just ornery and disagreeable. The truth is, I never really understood what she meant, but now I do. I can give you a perfect example. I was working at my office yesterday when in walked a rep from another doctor's office, coming in to set up a business lunch with the doctor I work for. I came out from the back and she gleefully asked "are you Julie Potter?" Upon second glance, I realized who it was. Before I could say anything else she told me how great it was to see me and that she thought I looked great, only to be followed by "I look terrible. I've gained so much weight. I'm so fat." What she didn't realize was that once I saw it was her, I knew it was the same beautiful girl I remembered in junior high. Pretty. Funny. Vivacious. Sweet. She didn't even realize who the person I saw was, only who she sees in the mirror and believes we all see. I told her that she was the same as I remembered her and recalled some memories I had of her. She always used to dress super cute, great hair and just the appropriate amount of makeup. I remember that after p.e., in the locker room, she was putting on lipstick and I was somewhat fascinated by it. She showed me how the pink lipstick had chap stick in the middle of the tube and it was good for dry lips. I thought that she and her lipstick were the coolest ever! That is the honest truth. We played sports together and hung out with the same crowd at times. All through high school, she never changed. Never snooty or stuck up even though she was one of the "popular" girls. Was she ever super skinny? No, but it didn't matter then and it did not define who she was, or change the way I felt about her as a person. Not then and certainly not now! It turns out that my friend has gone through some pretty tough times. a divorce, losing a baby she was sure she could never conceive, months of depression, a bad breakup with a stupid guy whom she doesn't even seem to hold a grudge against. If my Granny Potter were alive today, I would thank her for all of the things she taught me that i did not appreciate then, but do now. It doesn't matter how beautiful you are or what a great body you may or may not have. If you don't have a sweet and loving spirit, then none of that other stuff really matters. I hope you know that you are a super sweet, beautiful soul and I look forward to hanging out with you.

Face-ing hate

I just checked my Facebook, which I seem to do less and less these days. Adults on Facebook seems a little lame sometimes. Things like: "off to do errands", "cleaning the garage", or "going shopping". However, that is much more refreshing than all of these ridiculous platforms people take that prove more and more how racist they really are. They don't like our president, (a MAJOR understatement}, and how everything in the world is the fault of Democrats, seriously Democrats. Apparantly, we are all of one mind, opinion, and persona. It is getting very old and quite annoying! Tonight one of these "platformers" actually blamed Democrats for the passing of the Hate Crimes Legislation as if that were a bad thing. If for the mere fact that I am a Democrat, this makes me responsible, then I am very proud of all the work I didn't do to help get this bill passed. True to being an evil Democrat, I am totally supportive of any government intervention that punishes those who commit heinous acts done against individuals just for being born! It's too bad that someone with that much time on her hands can't do more to try to promote the well being of those less fortunate. Instead she promotes uneasiness, fear, and hatred among those who may be too lazy or too stupid to think for themselves. Does she not realize how far a kind word can go? To spend so much time of her day writing such negative and down right ugly racist remarks is such a waste. She tries to disguise her wordy rhetoric as Christian, Godly, and the truth! She needs her own website titled "Wastebook" because that is what she and those like her are doing!

Rapunzel, cut your hair!

My first suggestion for finding your best fashion self is to start with your skin. I think my second plan of attack is definitely the hair. Ladies, you don't have to have long hair, no matter what your husband/boyfriend/significant other says. Long hair tends to drag you down after a certain age. It's not a mean thing to say, it is just a fact. Unless you are Emmy Lou Harri's or one of those senior citizen ladies on that movie where they find the pods in the ocean and put them in the pool, swim with them and regain their youth forever, shorter hair is the answer. It bounces better and gives your face and instant lift. It gives you a certain swagger, a " hitch in your get-a-long"(as my brother rick would say). It is youthful and doesn't look like you are trying to hard, like when those women shop in the same department as their teenage daughters and attempt to wear "low-rider" jeans. There is nothing worse than seeing long flowing hair from the back and then "she" turns around only to be 75 years old in the face even if she is only 45 (that is where the good skin care rule comes in). Let it go because it can be so liberating and yes, make you look younger!!! Another hair rule would be to never, never, EVER, I repeat NEVER, EVER get a perm. You have to choose perm or color and it should always be the color. Stay away from the bleach blonde. After years of abuse your poor hair just wants to be left alone. Don't go too dark either unless you want to look like the mom from the Munstersand that will make you look like a hag in an instant. Embrace the fact that the thin, lifeless hair you had in high school is finally in style. Women pay big bucks to straighten the LIFE out of their hair sowhy even consider putting those curly, ratty, little kinky things back in. Trust me, these words of wisdom come from years of bad hair. In finding my sense of style, I have found a most coveted and sought after treasure, great hair and the perfect cut. I have suffered years of hair torture. I was the girl who tried to get the ever popular spiral perm only to have it fall out or SPIRAL out of control the very next day. Let's just say I was never the Breck girl. I will never have what has become known (in my family) as"Grandma Holland" hair. Apparently, it has found it's way down to all of the women on my mom's side and decided to end it's streak (no pun intended) with mom. I will never have that beautiful, white, cottony, soft hair, however I have improved the "Granny Potter" hair. Afterall, I have to do the best with what I in"hair"ited.

Profit from pain

Who is Ashley Madison? A conservative christian stay-at-home mom? A Martha Stewart wanna be? A high paid super-model? Your child's favorite teacher? You would be wrong if you answered yes to any of these. Ashley Madison is the name of a web site that caters to married people who want to cheat on their spouses. Where is the logic in that? You could secretly meet someone on line, show them the best side of yourself because you come with no baggage and the stress that everyday life brings. Isn't that what an extra marital affair is? You put your best foot forward so you can be with a person who doesn't even begin to know the real you but somehow manages to make you believe you are the most wonderful person on the face of the earth. All the while, the person who knows you the best, who would love you through all of your worst possible sides, is at home wondering what he or she did wrong to keep you so distant? Isn't it all about finding and being with that one person who is loyal to you and loves you no matter what?!!! Just wondering Ashley Madison, why you want to promote pain and suffering to innocent people who would give everything they have to make their marriage work. You are tempting someone at their weakest, most vulnerable point just so you and those you represent can make some bucks. I was just wondering.

Mom and Dad were right!

I caught a glimpse of the cover of the this month's O Magazine (OPRAH) and though I haven't read it, the caption peeked my interest. WHO WERE YOU MEANT TO BE? To a certain extent, that sums up the story of my, at least the main topic on my mind for the last several months. I think I am finally figuring that out, which is the reason for my blogging. It helps me to narrow the path that leads to "finding myself." One thing I do know for sure is that I definitely have a particular sense of style that has taken me years to find and perfect. Like an undiscovered flower garden in the middle of a concrete jungle, it does exist! Over the next few months I will reveal the rules I have learned through much trial and error, tribulation, and even tears. The number one rule is to do the best with what you have and quit worrying about the other girls. Embrace the best of you! I believe one of the best features a woman can show is confidence in herself. I used to read that in magazines and think to myself "yeah yeah, whatever." It is true! Now that I know what looks good on me, I can't wait to put outfits together and go shopping in my own closet to create new looks. That has become a passion of mine. I have literally studied it and it has become a career possibility for me. My title would be a personal stylist for the "regular girl". I will be getting specific so hopefully others can benefit. The most important aspect of perfecting your sense of style is to begin seeing yourself as a blank canvas and start with STRICT skincare. Take care of it because that is where it begins! You can't get it back once it is gone, but you can fix some of your mistakes and quit making it worse! Sorry ladies, but you can't "lay out" anymore. It is a sad but true fact that you will look older than your years if you "lay out". Plain and simple! I know it is hard to hear because i grew up 20 minutes from the beach and spent the better part of my teen years laying in the sun. (if only I had listened to my mom and dad) I was able to come to my senses pretty early in life, at about 24. I made an honest effort to wear sunscreen while "laying out" and now, at 47, not "laying out" EVER! My tan comes from my everyday activities. (\I still live 20 minutes from the beach) It is the one aspect of aging that YOU can control. I have seen others my age and thought "you have got to be kidding me". If my husband Jeff is with me I will, like clockwork, say "do I look younger?" i\It is like an obsession sometimes but happily most of the time the answer is "yes you do look younger". Iattribute that to my "better late than never" decision to start concentrating on good skin care. Good genes didn't hurt either so thanks Mom, Granny Potter, and Grandma Holland.

Blogging my way through a mid-life crisis

I almost did what i always do. I make up my mind to do something and then I do not follow through. You know what i mean; get up and jog everyday; eat right starting tomorrow; study my bible daily; pray before bedtime; just drink wine on the weekends; read more novels: and on and on and on. Sitting down right now is my first attempt at breaking my "not following through" pattern. I have set a goal to blog everyday for a year on different subjects, big and little, important and trivial. just rant and rave, and say whatever I think. It may lead to another dream of mine which is to write a book one day. This journey to blog my way through a midlife crisis is something I came up with to work on my writing skills and vent about things that bother me. it also gives me a chance to share some of the things I have learned along the way. I really have to look back in amazement at events I have been through in my life and survived mentally and emotionally. Jane Velez-Mitchell, author, writer, lawyer and talk show host, said in an interview, "why waste a problem?' referring to her battle with alcoholism and how she tells about it in her recent book. that is such a great attitude. It makes me feel like I can help others. I know that sounds cliche but I really do mean it and am looking forward to trying. So, I will proclaim right now my goal to blog everyday to my invisible public and my pretend, adoring, devoted fans who cling on to my every word as if they were flowing from the fountain of youth or Confucius himself. HA!!!!!

Unity is a "work in progress"

Martin Luther King once said that the most segregated time in America is Sunday mornings at 11:00. Sadly, that still has not changed. looking around on Sunday mornings during worship service, the one that is supposed to be more contemporary and upbeat, I rarely see the melting pot of people that Mr. King dreamed would surely be the case in the year 2009. I wish I could figure it out. We need to do more in the church body to promote unity. If not now, then never will there be a more opportune time. I was blessed to have been raised in a family that was not the slightest bit racist. I feel saddened at the depth of racism that still exists in this country today. In my own town! have I been that naive? The most unbelievable part is the audacity that some people have in just assuming that I might even remotely share their bigotry. I cringe at the things people say in passing, just casual conversation, obvious racist comments without a second thought that it might be offensive to me. One of the most joyful times in my life is when President Obama was elected. I felt a sense of purpose and pride during the election. For the first time in my life, I was inspired to work at something that would make a real difference in the lives of so many people. I felt obligated to tell anyone that cared to listen about my "gut" feeling. I learned real quick when to keep my mouth shut. How sad that long gone were the good old days when people could disagree about policy and just leave it at that. The work has just begun.

Totally clueless

Well, here I am writing a blog. A blog! I barely even understand the concept. Sadly, my clearest understanding came when I was dragged to the movie "Julie and Julia" by my dear mother. The movie turned out to be quite entertaining. Now, perfecting this blog is going to be both educational and challenging. As for the name "Finding Forty", I think it just sums up my quest to figuring out who I really am and what I should be doing at this stage in my life. It sounds so cliche but it really is a dilemma. They say, [who are "they" anyways?] that you really begin to find your sense of self during your forty's and it is SO true. My love for writing managed to resurface during this past election along with the realization that I actually do have some talent for the written word and that I makes sense! This coupled with all of the stupidity and ignorance being spread around forced me to come out of my "opinion closet." So here goes Cyber world. Will anyone even see this? I wonder. I'm looking forward to checking in with all of my unknown and probably non-existent followers.