I HAVE a Dream; Joe's Story

When I first met Joe, he looked very "street tough" if that makes sense. His hard-core exterior, the kind that promotes unfair judgement for the better part of society, didn't seem to match his soft spoken tone and seemingly shy personality. I can't explain why I was interested in his life, where he came from and what he was all about. I imagined that he was a young man with a story to tell and probably did not even know it. Nevertheless, it was a story I wanted to hear and without realizing it at the time, a story I wanted to tell everyone else. Over the course of about three years, we spoke many times. It was almost always me asking him how and what he was doing and little by little I would learn about the life of this person who had probably been misunderstood and mistakenly characterized as some sort of thug just because of his outward appearance and the color of his skin. If one would look past the obvious stuff and make an effort to actually know what he is all about then they would understand how determined he is to make a difference in the world, especially his world. That became clear to me today and I am going to share his journey with anyone who will listen so we can break down the barriers that keep our worlds separate.

I hope the new year brings me more peace. I know that the year will be what I make it and if it is not peaceful then it will be my fault. I fully intend to put the "Let Go Let GOD" rule to the test.

Growing up Rich

Thanksgiving was great this year. It started out slightly melancholy for no particular reason but the mood changed as the family started rolling in. I realize this year how blessed I really am. My parents have always been there for me and still continue to "take care of me" when I need to be taken care of. It has not always been easy for them as I have had a few ups and downs along the way and if not for their unwavering love and support, I can't imagine how I would have made it through. My mom reminds me every once in awhile about how times were hard when Rick and I were kids. My mom going back to school and being gone during the summers, my dad taking care of us while working full time and coaching. Other times when they tried to make ends meet every month on a school teacher's salary and constantly having to remind us we would get things after the 16th because teachers only got paid once a month. So many sacrifices and so much hard work. The fact is, and I am sure Rick would agree, that if we really were "poor" we never were aware of it. It has always seemed strange when mom talks about the "hard times" because I never knew they were. I always felt privileged and well taken care of and never ever new money was tight. For that I will be forever grateful to mom and dad. This is why we willingly go along with the tradition my mom has set forth that has us holding hands and saying one by one why we are thankful. It never fails that mom will be the last to speak and cry her eyes out. We all laugh and joke about the impending "circle of life" and the comparisons to the citizens of Whoville chanting "ra hu ra hu ra hu ra hu" in the center of the town. So many memories and so much love and with each Thanksgiving we remember them all.

The Real Beauty and The Real Beast

I'm Baaaaack. My computer has been unavailable to me. However, it came at a good time because I had a case of the "blahs" BIGTIME! I just seemed to feel nothing which is what my writing would have reflected had I not had an excuse. Needless to say, I had an avalanche of meaningful thoughts during this so-called "downtime". My first attempt at reentry into the blogging world had better be good. So, here goes. I was watching Oprah on the episode where she interviewed Charla, the brave woman who survived a near fatal, brutal attack by a chimpanzee. Most everyone is familiar with the story by now. I admit I was sucked in by the trailer that played on my sense of morbid curiosity to see the first unveiling of the "woman without a face". The idea was that she would reveal herself in a controlled environment, without the pandemonium brought on by the uncaring paparazzi whose only goal was capturing the money shot. I felt completely comfortable with this reason and besides, Oprah does give an intelligent and thoughtful interview. As I was watching, I became completely fixated on the television and this brave, heroic woman who had nothing the least bit negative to say. She had no hate in her heart and no bitter or angry words. Her main concern was for her daughter and just surviving day to day. She had a new appreciation for something as insignificant as taking a walk and feeling the sun's warmth on her face shining through the hospital windows. I can honestly say that after the first few minutes, her unveiled face seemed to disappear when she spoke and I became lost in her words. What an inspiration this woman was to me. I spend so much time worrying about things that really mean nothing while she finds love and purpose in every waking moment. WOW! A commercial came on and I hit the "repeat" button on the remote control so I could follow my usual routine and watch Larry King Live during Oprah's commercials. I was sure that the most horrible and hideous sight had already appeared during the Oprah interview. I was wrong. The most awful and obnoxious vision that I never thought would be possible made it's way on to the television screen, Carrie Prejean, grinning from ear to ear with her HUGE......pearly white teeth showing off her book and scolding Larry King for being "inappropriate." Not just once, but at least three times and adding "Very" to inappropriate so he positively got the message. That moment was a turning point for me because I then realized what I should be spending my time worrying and writing about. I thank God for that moment and for Charla. She portrayed more beauty in her words, without a face, than Carrie Prejean, a ridiculous role model and a horrible representation of young Americans, could ever hope to project. Thank you Dear Lord for that lesson.

To punctuate or not to punctuate, that is the question

Where do I begin? Do I have so many thoughts racing through my mind that I don't know what to comment on first? Do I just have what is referred to as writer's block and I am making excuses? It is a little bit of both I suppose. Over the past several months, I am contemplating several options that I think I am good at. I love to write. I consider myself to be a self-made Fashionista and would love to share that with others. I have taken on another friend to personal train. I have decided I will follow all of these dreams and see which one I still feel passionate about a year from now. Why not? It has taken me my whole life to even know what I am good at and love doing, and now I have to make up for lost time. One thing I have decided to do is punctuate! That sounds petty and obvious to everyone else but for me it is a big step. My mind races so fast that my written words can't keep up with my brain's thoughts. The fact is that to be taken seriously by the editors I may show my work to, I have to do it right or I will undermine my great literary works and end up in the circular file. How tragic that would be. What if our fore fathers didn't capitalize or punctuate or even spell correctly. The right to "bear arms" would have a completely different meaning. Hunters would be wandering around aimlessly trying to kill game with the limbs of grizzly bears. "A rose by any other name" may smell like sweat? Maybe I really do have writer's block.

The girl staring back from the glass

Part of being a great stylist is knowing how to create hot looks with what you have at your disposal. Most women, and a few men, have a plethora a costume changes right in their own closet. my plan includes 10 articles of clothing, 20 different accessories, and 30 days of different looks. the clothing pieces consist of a pair of skinny jeans, cargo pants, a dress skirt, a casual shorter skirt, a white button up blouse, a black button up blouse, a camisole or tank, a colorful t-shirt, a sweater or shrug, and a nice jacket. The accessories will include: black flats, leopard print heels, white, low-top Converse tennis shoes, high heel chunky sandals, novelty kitten hills, a chunky gold necklace, layered necklace or silver chain necklace, gold hoops, silver hoops, a black watch and a colorful watch, a chunky bracelet set, wide black belt, skinny black belt, red patent belt, red patent big purse, great sunglasses, a clutch bag, and boots. take these items and mix and match to create different looks. The details may change but the concept will stay the same. If you are resourceful and determined, you can look great. As long as you are clean and put together, you CAN pass for a fashionista. Be your own Personal Stylist by taking advantage of the free advice you get from magazines, t.v. shows, and the Internet. If you go to a crowded mall and people watch, You will at least see how you DON"T want to look. Living on a shoe string budget is a reality for many of us and even more of a reason for always striving to put your best foot forward. my "never fail, go-to outfit" is just about impossible to screw up. Begin with a basic pair of dark jeans, skinny or boot-cut, wide leg or slim, wide pants or high waisted, but never ever low waisted, unless you are still a teenager or a very small twenty something. They don't tend to be very flattering on most people, especially if you are short and weigh more than 100 lbs. (and want to be taken seriously). It's more than a pair of jeans, it is the image of yourself that you want to portray to others and most importantly, pleasing the one staring back in the mirror. The jeans should be "topped" with a basic soft t-shirt, preferably in a solid, darker or muted color, like deep purple charcoal, or heather gray. My new, MOST FAVORITE color this year is navy blue. It's my new black. The shoes should be a sexy, but comfortable heel, maybe a leopard print, or patent red. Finish with a chunky necklace, medium size hoops, a big watch and some bracelets. Start with this look and then build from there. Some of the details may change depending on the climate. For example, brutal summer heat may require crop jeans or long denim shorts, cute thong sandals, and less jewelry. The basic concept to keep it simple and think it through is the same. The first step in my "10-20-30 concept" is to put your arsenal of fashion together and begin fashion brainstorming. Follow your new and improved "fashion gut"and ALWAYS put your best foot forward (in fabulous shoes of course).

Pretty is as pretty does

My grandmother, Granny Potter as she was fondly referred to, used to say all of the time "pretty is as pretty does." I used to get so annoyed at that and I don't even know why. I guess, like every other full of herself, know-it-all, adolescent girl, I was just ornery and disagreeable. The truth is, I never really understood what she meant, but now I do. I can give you a perfect example. I was working at my office yesterday when in walked a rep from another doctor's office, coming in to set up a business lunch with the doctor I work for. I came out from the back and she gleefully asked "are you Julie Potter?" Upon second glance, I realized who it was. Before I could say anything else she told me how great it was to see me and that she thought I looked great, only to be followed by "I look terrible. I've gained so much weight. I'm so fat." What she didn't realize was that once I saw it was her, I knew it was the same beautiful girl I remembered in junior high. Pretty. Funny. Vivacious. Sweet. She didn't even realize who the person I saw was, only who she sees in the mirror and believes we all see. I told her that she was the same as I remembered her and recalled some memories I had of her. She always used to dress super cute, great hair and just the appropriate amount of makeup. I remember that after p.e., in the locker room, she was putting on lipstick and I was somewhat fascinated by it. She showed me how the pink lipstick had chap stick in the middle of the tube and it was good for dry lips. I thought that she and her lipstick were the coolest ever! That is the honest truth. We played sports together and hung out with the same crowd at times. All through high school, she never changed. Never snooty or stuck up even though she was one of the "popular" girls. Was she ever super skinny? No, but it didn't matter then and it did not define who she was, or change the way I felt about her as a person. Not then and certainly not now! It turns out that my friend has gone through some pretty tough times. a divorce, losing a baby she was sure she could never conceive, months of depression, a bad breakup with a stupid guy whom she doesn't even seem to hold a grudge against. If my Granny Potter were alive today, I would thank her for all of the things she taught me that i did not appreciate then, but do now. It doesn't matter how beautiful you are or what a great body you may or may not have. If you don't have a sweet and loving spirit, then none of that other stuff really matters. I hope you know that you are a super sweet, beautiful soul and I look forward to hanging out with you.